Chronologues of Creative Resistance: On Social Media
Last week, on a trip to California, I admitted to myself in conversation with my closest girlfriends that I have been using Instagram as a form of resistance, as a painkiller, to avoid being with myself. I have been sacrificing hours I could have spent writing my book on the platform, convincing myself it was okay because of the deeper purpose behind the messages I share.
The mind can be such a tricky thing, so sneaky as to know exactly what to say for you to avoid your feelings, repeat patterns of betrayal and abandonment with your own self, cling to old habits and addictions you've developed to cope with difficult emotions. I made myself a deal that I wouldn't post until I had done my work for the day, until I had written. Last night (when I am writing this) was one of the most plugged-in sessions I've had in a while, and it feels so good.
I also need to improve my habit of not scrolling, and I still need to incorporate not watching YouTube content into this contract. For now, these small steps are enough, and I am getting my work done. I encourage everyone reading this to reflect on their relationship with this platform. Are you using it as a tool for personal growth? Are you using it to avoid painful emotions? Are you using it to resist doing your work? For me, it's a combination of all three, and I needed to remember what my priorities are and set some boundaries. Always choose yourself.
This piece was originally featured in a May 20, 2019 post on Instagram.
