Chronologues of Creative Resistance
Fear doesn’t go away. The warrior and the artist live by the same code of necessity, which dictates that the battle must be fought anew every day.
— Steven Pressfield, The War of Art
Last night, my creative resistance reached a breaking point. I've been resisting doing my work for weeks; my mind has found any excuse to avoid sitting down and writing my story. As I was trying to leave my apartment to meet a friend for dinner, for the first time in my life, I hit a car barricading my exit. (5 mph, everyone is fine.) This is a direct product of resistance.
Everything in our lives is symbolic, and this felt like a direct block from God/the universe, telling me to stop, turn around, and freaking write. Resistance grows strongest when it is on the brink of something massive. Every time I sit down to write my story, my understanding of it changes. I gain richer insight into the emotional experience I've intellectualized my entire life, and another layer peels off the false story I've constructed to survive.
Sitting down for the first time in weeks last night, I had a major breakthrough about the nature of my abuse, and I was able to write for twice as long as usual. If you, too, are struggling with resistance in any capacity, I encourage you to DO YOUR WORK. Read The War of Art so you can recognize your own bullshit when you see it. As Pressfield also says, "The most important thing about art is to work. Nothing else matters except sitting down every day and trying." Do your work.
This piece was originally featured in a May 7, 2019 post on Instagram.
