Sexual Energy is Creative Energy: On Celibacy
I have not slept with anyone for the better part of a year at this point. I wrote off casual sex after getting off medication and reconnecting with myself and my emotions two+ years ago, and stopped sleeping with potential romantic partners too soon after dating a particularly heinous one last year. In this time period, not only have I learned exponentially about myself, I have also begun practicing intimacy with myself, being with myself completely in my shadow, void of distraction—I have started my memoir and am six chapters in, manifested my dream job, launched an instagram platform, taken up dance, and taken up photoshoots.
I have discovered parts of myself that I had been avoiding in unfulfilling relationships with partners who were never available to me, creating a wholeness that allows me to truly master myself, and I have never felt more powerful or creative than I do right now. Sexual energy is a form of creative energy, representing the life force. This is our power, what makes us alive. When we spend this in pursuit of physical pleasure, of validation, of love, we drain this power, weakening it and weakening ourselves.
I understand we live in a world where “hookup culture” is rampant, where women’s bodies are plastered all over social media, where it is radical to keep this energy for yourself, until you find someone that you can expend it productively with. Even still, I would encourage everyone to reassess their relationship to sex, their relationship to their creative energy, and ask if they are using it for their highest good. Stay in your power.
This piece was originally featured on April 26, 2019 on Instagram.
