Simps, Hypergamy, and Game
I've been in a rabbit hole about dating for about a year now. Recently, I came across an interview with the author of possibly the most popular book on romantic relationships of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. In it, Dr. John Grey delves into the biological mechanisms that we, as men and women, possess that foster bonding.
For example, when a man gives to a woman and is appreciated for it, his testosterone levels rise. Concurrently, a woman's estrogen levels rise, as this act triggers feelings of safety and security. This creates an emotional bond between the two.
This fact of nature prompted me to think about the recent "simp" dialogue currently happening in the culture. For those unaware, a "Simp" is:
While this is an informal definition, I learned this term while watching videos in the "Game" genre on YouTube, where men shame other men for being nice to women, making chivalrous gestures for them, or providing for them financially in some way, especially if they aren't romantically involved.
I can't help but feel like, in modernity, we are living in such disharmony with natural order, that something we have a biological system for, something that is designed to foster stable sexual relationships, is being programmed and shamed out of us almost.
This isn't the only theme that counters the natural order I have observed in the world of Gaming. Actually, Gaming, as a practice, is counter to how we are naturally wired. See, women are hypergamous creatures. This means that we seek partners who are equal to or higher in social status than we are. Game circumvents this natural inclination and heads straight for women's egos, toying with them until it forms a trauma-bond. Like hacking the system, a false power.
Not to say women are innocent in hacking the natural order. The contraceptive pill does this in and of itself, and when risk is removed from the sexual act, women operate differently when considering it. Not only this, but women entering the workforce have empowered us economically. Whereas men used to woo a woman by providing safety and security, when women are providing that for themselves, the stakes are now higher, and not every man can compete. Thus, the Game was invented: the art of using words to circumvent women's need for safety and get into her pants—an act with a much lower barrier to entry.
As much as our culture has been shifting in the direction of modernity, I have been observing a small but growing trend in the world of “strategic dating,” “high-value love,” and women finally becoming aware of their natural needs. I have seen an increased interest in more traditional partnerships, and more people are waking up to their natural wiring as humans. It feels like the counter to the “game” movement, to the values that feminism touts, and to overall hatred between the genders.
As much as we may try, we will never change how we are wired. We will always lose in a battle between us and nature.
