Shadow Work & Abandonment Wounds
Abandonment wounds are perhaps the deepest and most unseen influences that lie within us. They are unseen because it is more difficult to notice what wasn't there versus what was in our early lives. Abandonment wounds permeate virtually all areas of our lives, extending from our relationships with others to our relationship with ourselves. Doing shadow work inherently incorporates acknowledging and healing these wounds. For me, it started with number four on this list.
I recognized certain patterns in my life, including that I was exclusively attracting emotionally unavailable partners, and that sitting down to write my story was exceedingly difficult and filled with resistance. In both of these instances, I was replaying abandonment wounds, which led to a fear of intimacy with others and with myself. I've been working to heal these wounds through my shadow work, sitting with myself fully and presently, and experiencing all the emotions I've numbed out in survival mode for my entire life, while writing.
Being with yourself, not by watching TV or engaging in online shopping or altering your state of consciousness, but really feeling into the parts of yourself you've kept in darkness, is the first step you can take to understanding yourself and healing. Since doing this work, I've noticed a substantial shift in the men I've attracted into my life, as well as the ease I now experience when revisiting my traumas and writing emotionally. Heal your wounds, do your work, master yourself.
This piece was originally featured in a April 13, 2019 post on Instagram.
