On Regaining Sanity

The week before I came to Mexico, I was so depressed that I wouldn’t leave my bed for days. One afternoon, I saw some sunlight peek through the clouds outside my bedroom window for the first time in days, and I told myself I must go outside and run. After 40 minutes of convincing myself that I needed to get up, I did, and made my way downstairs to put on a dirty pair of leggings I hadn’t had the time to wash. This action exhausted me to the point where I had to crawl back into bed and begin convincing myself to get up again.

Eventually, I found myself outside and running. Halfway through, I came back to myself and closed my eyes in gratitude for being outside and moving. I ended my route on a hill at the golf course, facing the sun, crying a little, and praying for the season to pass with ease. It’s a little unnerving to realize you lost your mind after 9 months of isolation and a sunless winter. But gaining it back feels even sweeter than if it had never left at all. If you fight for anything in this life, fight for yourself, for your happiness, for your love.